“Bill Clinton Has Said Far Worse to Me on the Golf Course”
So, Trump said some sexist things that were caught on tape. Here are a few choice quotes, for thems who have spiritually disengaged from this election:
“I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.”
“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”
“And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”
“Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”
Go hear/read about the whole thing here if you want.
This has caused a huge uproar, even in the republican party. Several republicans have said they will no longer back him, and many even called for him to resign and so they could find a new, emergency candidate.
Frankly, I’m surprised there’s such an uproar over this — but I’m glad. Not just because I’m hoping for Hildog, but because I’ve heard men say shit like this all the time. This is how men who degrade women talk; this is how men who degrade women think. It’s not exceptional. In fact, I’ll bet Trump is thinking right now that his only crime is getting caught because he knows, like I know, that so many men talk like this in private. There is no way he feels that he did anything wrong by saying these comments; he just feels like he the “PC-police” have come down on him.
Yet, the people coming down on him aren’t the normal PC police. Yes, clearly the liberals were going to go hard over this (or, any other minor mistake he may make in the coming weeks) but what shocked me so much was how hard the republican condemnation was. And, I think it did me good to hear that. I’ve had my pussy grabbed by strangers before. I’ve been kissed by men out of the blue, and frankly, these incidents hardly even register in my mind as “bad things that have happened to me” even though they caused me pain. I’ve always just tried to suck them up because this type of casual disrespect for women was so ubiquitous.
So when Mitt Romney tweets this:
it does more than just call out Trump. It reinforces that some of these things that happened to me were really not ok. The democratic voice is a little untrustworthy because they’ll support anything that makes Trump look bad. But, hearing it from republicans sends a very strong message, and will probably reach a wider demographic of women than the democrats could reach. I’m really glad so many of them spoke out against Trump’s comments.
But back to Trump; the fact that he thinks the correct response to this whole scandal is to claim that Bill Clinton said worse things to him on the golf-course only reinforces the notion that he doesn’t think of women as separate entities. He cannot differentiate Bill from Hillary; he thinks Hillary is responsible for Bill’s misconduct because, on some level, he only views women as extensions of the male self.
When you read through his comments, what you really see is no acknowledgement of the presence of mind of women. The idea that women have feelings, the idea that women may have their own sexual desires doesn’t even register. I think his most telling comment is “and when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” His motivation when harassing women is to feel important.
The reason that harassing women is fun for him, the reason he gets a kick out of doing things he knows they won’t enjoy, is that it narcissistically reflects his own power back to him. “Oh, that woman let me grab her pussy, and she normally doesn’t let men grab her pussy. She let me do it because I’m a star, because I have power.”
I believe this is a fundamental misunderstanding of much sexual assault; people don’t do it “because they’re really horny.” People do it because they want to believe something about themselves, men particularly do it because having women bend to their will reinforces a type of status in their own minds. Older men go for younger women for the same reason younger men like MILFs; through a woman, they can access a type of status currently unavailable to them. Old men want the beauty status that comes from youth, young men want the success status that comes with age. And, there’s nothing wrong with that, if the woman in question also desires the man. However, for some ambitious men, women and their desires are simply seen as obstacles to overcome and this is very dangerous. If you’re a woman, and you ever get an impression that a man views your desires as inconveniences, if he ever tries to tell you that what you want is wrong, run. Run and don’t look back.
Donald is unable to view Hillary as anything other than an extension of Bill Clinton. He thinks an insult to Bill is an insult to her. He thinks that Bill’s sexual misconduct reflects badly on her. It doesn’t. Far from it; I think Hillary, as a woman on the receiving end of misogynistic behavior, is actually one of the best people to protect women’s interests on this point. I think Hillary cares about issues of sexual harassment on a deep and personal level, because she has felt the pain of such harassment.
Donald Trump thinks he violated some arbitrary “politically correct” convention; he doesn’t understand that those women whose pussies he grabbed? He hurt them. They felt pain when that happened. He doesn’t understand that women feel pain when you do things to them they don’t want. He doesn’t understand that Hillary felt pain over Bill’s sex scandals. He doesn’t understand this because he’s never looking at the women he engages with; he’s only ever looking at himself.