How The Sex Robot Revolution Will Finally Get Women Equal Pay

Scientists tend to produce less science after they get married, according to a study done by the deeply controversial (and possibly terrible) Satoshi Kanazawa. Kanazawa looked at a database of scientists, saw when their peek production was, and noted it tended to drop off after their mid 30s. However, for men (most of the scientists were male) who had not married, their production did not drop off as rapidly. Kanazawa hypothesized that men are motivated to do science to be impressive to a mate, and once they snag one, they phone it in.

I’d buy that unmarried scientists are more productive, but I propose a different causal mechanism. I think that coming home to cuddle with your wife is a lot more fun than staying late in the lab. Humans evolved to connect with other humans. When you don’t have this kind of connection, you get very lonely. The most popular post thing I ever wrote was Being Single is Hard, and I think the relevance of that short title says it all. The preferred choice for loneliness is, obviously, social connection. However, when you can’t get that, another popular choice will be distraction.

Like, the type of hyper-logical distraction you get when working hard. Nearly all the workaholics I know tend to be single men. The people pulling in the late hours in tech, or all nighters in the lab, tend to be single men (especially over the long run — marrieds have to dial it back after a while.) And women, with easier access to physical affection and increased likelihood of bearing the brunt of reproductive labor, tend not pull in those same hours. At least, not for the decades that men do.

However! If these lonely single men no longer had to distract themselves, if they had some warm sex robot to come home to, they’d be less likely to work themselves into oblivion. Additionally, without the social pressure to please women by being successful in their jobs, they may not even bother to work that hard.

The sex robot revolution will bring on a period of male sloth. In fact, sex robots may end up being the ultimate commercial masterpiece of capitalism that will provide the key to its undoing. Once sex fails to be a factor in motivating men to destroy themselves in the rat race, we may lose the raw energy needed to motivate the capitalist machine.

I support the sex robot revolution. Go to sleep, go to sleeeeeeeeeepppp horny objectifying men. I’ll be here. Waiting.


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