It’s interesting you bring that up, because I hadn’t quite put it together, but when I think of dating women and women dating for “lifestyle,” I think many women don’t care about “money” per se. I do think they tend to have more of an eye for other aspects of compatibility (like, similar belief system) and sometimes seem to care about social status. Not everyone, of course, but more often compared to men I date. Most lesbians I know would consider a second date with a “less hot” woman if she seemed compatible in other ways. Which is nice — the less nice is when it gets insular, or people only date like themselves.

And, while many women do care about money, I’d guess in the straight world, men often overestimate how important money is to women. I think the drive to accumulate money to impress is a fairly male drive.

That said, I think some lesbians do have a pull to be partnered because it’s logistically easier — two incomes, even not high incomes — go further than one. But, I could be off on this. Regardless, at least in the SF bay area (where women’s incomes are like, 55% of mens’ on average) I think lesbians struggle a lot more financially than people realize, and this leads to unusual dating dynamics. It could be very location based; maybe in more economic areas, this isn’t a thing.

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