A place for people to anonymously post their stories of sexual pain.
Since writing this article on sexual assault, many people have been contacting me with their own assault stories. It made me think, maybe sharing these stories is part of healing for people? I know it was for me. I know that’s basically why I wrote the article in the first place.
So, I created reclaim.love to allow people to anonymously post their stories on sexual abuse, if they want to.
However, it’s worth nothing, that I basically just ripped the code from this “porn” site I was in the process of creating. My site was really preliminary, and right now it’s just collecting people’s fantasies (sassy.love.) The reason it’s worth noting, was that for me, somehow being in the middle of creating a “porn” site was an integral part of facing my own sexual trauma. I was basically spending all my free time reading romance stories, and erotica, and people’s fantasies. I spent a lot of time going through romance writers on twitter, and every time I saw something that looked like it was aimed at turning women on, I was like “this is so great!” Every time my friends asked me what had done all week, I was like “read porn!”
Searching for the things that turned me, that turned “women” on, brought me to the place that was blocked. I think there is this way that we medicalize sexual trauma, make it this big “thing” that has to be “fixed,” and then once it is fixed, you can go and be sexual again. But, for me, it was all wrapped up as part of the same thing. The place of sexual pain is deeply connected to the place of sexual desire, and I think the only way forward is to face the full complexity that entails.
If you have been sexually assaulted, consider calling the sexual assault hotline .