You've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole here, my friend.

Yes, I admit that, technically me saying "people calling each other hateful is spreading hate" is to some degree hypocritical because I am calling them hateful in that sentance. However, it was intended as a rhetorical device to call attention to hypocracy, and to encourage people to stop using it in their rhetoric.

You can condem acts without simply calling them hateful; to do so, you need to cite the specific harm done rather than relying on general statements. E.g. "the democratic policy around homeless people has led to a rise in drug addiction in liberal cities" is more effective a criticism than "the democrats hate the homeless."

Anyway; I hope you can see how in your post, you calling people you disagree with "fascist authoritarians" while being upset that they "apply labels to you" is hypocritical. You're doing to others what you hate having done to you; maybe if you change your approach, you will get more success in having your ideas heard. People aren't inclined to listen to people who accuse them of being "fascist authoritarians."

I think a change of tactics would serve you well; best of luck.